DELAY IN MARRIAGES !
WHO IS RESPONSIBLE ?
Just as Education, Health & Employment, Timely Marriage is also essential for everyone to settle down well in Life. But of late, finding suitable alliance in general and more so for Grooms in particular has become a Challenging Task leading to lot of Agony and Frustration. Let us analyze the reasons in detail.
- There could be various reasons for the delay including the following.
- Shortage of Brides.
- Brides / Grooms becoming Too choosy.
- Filtrations at various levels.
- Lack of adequate & proper efforts.
- Too much of focus on photos.
- Restrictions on Age Difference by Brides.
- Delay in Commencement due to other priorities.
- There could be various reasons for the delay including the following.
The list goes on…
- But I am of the view more than all these factors adherence to Horoscope & Star matching is the most important reason for the Delay.
- In Arranged Marriages, the initiative is normally taken by the parents in consultation with Brides/Grooms. The parents of Brides & Grooms along with their Astrologers stand as “Dwara Balakas” and ensure that the Marriage does not take place at all which is really unfortunate. (Though their intention may be Good) See the Diagram below.
- Let me explain the functioning of the system step by step.
- For instance say 100 profiles are chosen by the Bride side from the available data/charts based on Gothrams, Height, Age difference, Qualification, Income, Place of Job etc.
- In some profiles photos will be readily available and in some cases it will be obtained through E-mail. In any case, based on the photos at least 40 profiles will be rejected leaving the balance to 60 profiles (100-40)
- Now the Bride’s parents based on their Ready Reckoners or their own half-baked knowledge will eliminate at least 20 more profiles based on star matching (Utthamam, Madhyamam, Neecham etc). Now the balance comes to 40 (60-20)
- On taking up the matter with the Grooms side, they are likely to reject at least 10 more profiles based on the list of stars preferred / not preferred by them as per the ‘Golden’ guidance given by their Astrologers. Now the balance comes to 30. (40-10)
- The 30 profiles are then taken for consultation with the Astrologer by the Bride side. Out of the 30 profiles the Astrologer may okay 15, rejecting the other 15 as totally unfit. Out of the 15 also he may recommend only 3 or 4 & rank the list of selected Horoscopes by allotting marks (as if making valuation for +2 paper)
- Now the 15 profiles will be referred to the Astrologers by the Groom side who will have a totally different view on matching, based upon their experience and expertise. In the process in all probability the entire 15 may be rejected by them making the balance as Nil! (15-15) (Back to square one !)
- In some cases matching of Horoscopes may also take place by “Sozhi Method” also. (Fate is decided by Sozhi) In addition to Horoscope matching, people may also go in for Numerology Matchings and even insist on concurrence by their Gurujis Too ! (Though the Marriage is not for Gurujis!)
- Besides rejecting the Horoscopes, at times Astrologer will also caution their clients that it would be better to postpone the Marriage matter at least for 2 or 3 Years as proper time has not come due to lack of Guru Parvai etc.
- The Parents will be in a great dilemma as to what to do next! On the Questioning by their son/daughter for the delay, they will only reply saying that they are doing their Best, but unfortunately Astrologers do not agree with each other or Girls/Boys parents never reply and so on. Based on the warning of Astrologer they may even cancel the Registration in the website for one or two years, thereby closing down the entire process by putting a “Navtal Lock” (A Fantastic step indeed !)
- Mean time, they will go for various pariharams as suggested by Friends/Relatives/Astrologers and start spending their Time and Hard Earned Money in the process! (Beware of exploitations!)
- The Boys and Girls who are really Gems cannot ventilate their feelings beyond a point and start cursing their fate and bear the delay with patience & hope with due respect to their parents as they do not have any other alternatives! (What a Pity!)
- After doing all these “Non Sense” the parents may very often ventilate their disappointment and even anger with us saying, they are not able to secure any alliance at all inspite of their repeated renewals & sustained efforts ! I used to “laugh” at them stating they are only solely responsible for the entire mess!
- I have already made repeated appeals to our clients to bid goodbye for Horoscope matching which has spread like cancer! But many people are yet to change their mindset due to some fear or other. But I am still optimistic!
- I make it clear that it is not my view alone but the views of Paramacharya also. As I understand even the present Acharyas of Kanchi Kamakoti Peedam & Sringeri Mutt as well do agree with my views. If need be, you are welcome to seek their guidance as well in this regard and proceed further. Satguru Jaggi Vasudev also is of the Firm view that it is ridiculous to go in for Horoscope Matchings & Predictions as well !
- As I have already stated, please note Horoscope matching does not guarantee success in wedded life at all and Astrologers carry no responsibility whatsoever for their views! (A Happy Profession Indeed!)
- Every Astrologer is well experienced & knowledgeable in their own way. But their opinions are bound to differ based on their priorities and perceptions. Further like Light Coffee, Medium Coffee & Strong Coffee they also fall under three categories in their Matching (Lenient, Normal and Very Strict) ! My submission is when two Astrologers never agree there is no point in going for Matching at all ! (Astrology is different from Astronomy !)
- Rejection of alliances based on stars such as Ayilyam, Moolam etc., as if they are untouchables / not auspicious is still more sinful & ridiculous as well. It is high time to stop the practice forthwith!
- Normally for taking any decision we analyze the pros & cons carefully based on our intellect & experience. (This applies in Banking Profession also and we do not have any Astrology counter in Banks) But when it comes to Marriage alliance we become totally illogical and leave it to be decided by some Astrologer or other. In the process we lose good number a very Good alliance & start regretting later like a “Blind man going for Surya Namaskaram”
- Please note once the Bride/Groom crosses the prime age, the number of Quality alliances will become very negligible thereby reducing the chances for marriage still remote further.
- On the one hand, parents will be postponing the marriage by searching for Rahu or Ketu in Lagnam etc. In the meantime their children especially Brides may get attracted towards a Groom from other caste (or even other Religion) leading to inter-caste marriages & consequent displeasure & shock for the entire family. Is it fair & proper on our part to give scope for such Inter-caste marriages, when already we are in shortage of Brides?
- Horoscope Matching concept is only of recent origin and it is not something which should be complied with at any cost. It is a pity that in some cases parents refuse to allow Love Marriages even within our caste on the pretext that there is no matching of Horoscopes. How funny it is!
- As a person involved in the Matrimonial Service for over 25 Years, I know how difficult it is to procure & supply good number of reliable alliances every month with full details. Naturally when the precious profiles are getting wasted just like that and put into waste paper Baskets, my heart is simply burning & Weeping ! The pinch can be felt only by people like me & not others! I recall the old song “Nenju Porukkuthillaye ….”
- More than water Pollution, Air Pollution & Environmental pollution, Mind pollution which is caused by Astrologers is the worst one. Once a negative remarks is passed by the Astrologer against the alliance, we are bound to become afraid & hesitant to proceed further. Hence it is wiser not to go for any such opinions at all and proceed on the basis of Manaporutham, Kudumba Porutham etc.
- We have already provided a column (Number 42) in our Registration Form seeking your stand as to whether Horoscope Matching is required or not. The list of people who are not keen on Horoscope Matching is being flashed in our website separately for ready reference.. I appeal to each & every one of you to ponder over the matter seriously and opt against Horoscope Matching at the earliest in your own interest.
- I never believe in Thrusting my views on others & leave the ultimate decision to your own wisdom. But please remember the Marriage is between two individuals and not between Two Stars or Rasies !
- Getting Married in time is very important. Equally important is choosing a proper alliance. I will come out with some practical Tips in this regard very shortly. I am very keen that all our clients must get married at the earliest and lead a Happy wedded life.
- I always believe in practicing first before preaching others. In my own case for my Daughter’s wedding (2013) I have not gone for Horoscope Matching at all. I am blessed with a grandson and enjoying my days with him! Had I gone for matching probably the alliance might have been dropped on one pretext or other and my daughter might have been still unmarried!
Let us resolve to bid goodbye to Star Matching and Horoscope Matching once for all !
If you are convinced and committed to follow the stand, do inform your concurrence for enrolling in the list by furnishing your ID Number and Name by E-mail immediately!
Already more than 700 Persons have joined the list. Why not you too? !
With Kind regards & Best Wishes.
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