TEN REASONS FOR DELAY IN MARRIAGES ALONG WITH TEN REMEDIES
Of late finding a suitable match for Marriage has become a Herculian Task leading to lot of Frustrations! The problem is more acute for Grooms than for Brides. What are the Causes and Remedies? Let us ponder over!
1. Shortage of Brides:
In our experience, the proportion between Brides and Grooms is at least 1:3. For Every 100 Girls there are 300 boys.! The disparity has arisen mainly due to discard of Female Babies through abortions in the past! Anything done against Nature is bound to have its consequences!
2. Brides are Too choosy:
Naturally, Brides have become very choosy and put in lot of conditions! Everyone wants professional only. Place of Job preferred is also restricted to Chennai, Bangalore or USA unless they are from North or other places. They are not prepared to compromise on Income also and many insist on Thanikudithanam too.! Age difference preferred is also coming down! The list goes on…!
3. Brides are not keen to get Married!
Brides are not only choosy but also not keen on Marriage. If they cross 25 or 30 years, their priority changes and it becomes very difficult for parents to convince them for Marriage.
4. Photos:
Too much of importance is given to photos by both Brides and Grooms and many get rejected in the process at the initial stage itself!
5. Too many persons involved:
In arranged marriages too many people are involved in Decision making and each one has his/her own views and priorities. Parents may be keen on Horoscope and Family, Grand Parents on Sub sects., Brides/Grooms on personality and wave length etc. In this process the area of selection gets limited and alliances get dropped for one reason or other.
6. Lack of Efforts and Skills:
Alliance fixation calls for lot of systematic efforts. Unfortunately in many families proper persons are not available to take care and parents are often too old to follow up. In some cases people are also lacking in communication and Technical skill. Failure to take prompt decisions and grab the offer also leads to droppings.
7. Disabilities:
People with Physical Disabilities find it extremely difficult to get married. Disabilities of parents or siblings also affect the choice. Persons with Inter-Caste parentage are also not acceptable generally. Self employed and Business people too not preferred due to the “Risk” element involved!
8. Lack of Finance:
Many Brides are hesitant to get married due to lack of Finance to meet the Marriage Expenses which is rather unfortunate!
9. Chatting:
Chattings are welcome to understand each other before proceeding with Nichayadartham and Marriage. But too much of chatting at Times result in Misunderstandings leading to breakages. Better to exercise some caution in communication!
10. Horoscope Matching:
Of all the factors, I feel this is a major source of Hurdle. It is unfortunate that people still believe in Horoscope Matching as a guarantee for success in Wedded Life! In the process lot of alliances get discarded. Certain stars are still considered as Taboos and untouchables which is nothing but a sin! I have already expressed my detailed views on the subject repeatedly. It is for people to change their Belief and Mind sets!
TEN REMEDIES
- Enlarge your area of choice by accepting all subsects.
- Avoid being too choosy and be prepared for compromises. Age difference can be accepted at least upto 5 or 6 years.
- Do not give over importance for Photos and Features.
- Display the Photos nicely.
- Be always courteous and systematic in your approach. Be willing to permit Thanikuduthanam voluntarily wherever required!
- Be willing to share Wedding Expenses with Bride’s Family and permit her to continue to help her parents even after Marriage if necessary.
- Accept Business and Self Employed persons also with open mind.
- A person with Minor Disability can better prefer a person with some other disability.
- Always give importance from the angle of Bride and Groom instead of imposing your views.
- Above all say Good Bye to Horoscope Matching once for all and proceed on the basis of practical aspects. Do visit our website regularly and go on expressing your interest by quoting your Regn Number. If no reply is received don’t get frustrated. No reply means the other party is not interested! Never succumb to the Exploitation in the name of ‘Pariharams’. Instead do what you can for your Kuladeivam/nearby Temples. In short do what you can and leave the rest! God knows when to give, What to give and How to give!
With Best Wishes & Kind Regards
N. PANCHAPAKESAN, Founder, Chennai Sai Sankara Matrimonials
Cell : 98403 30531
You are welcome to acknowledge and send us your Feedback to saipanch@gmail.com |