APPEAL TO BRIDES & GROOMS TO AVOID INTER-CASTE MARRIAGE
Inter-caste & Inter-Religion Marriages are not new to our society! But it is regrettable that the Trend is growing very fast in General & more so in our Brahmin Community, which leads to lot of practical problems later. Let us analyse the issue in detail.
CAUSES :
It is a welcome step that Girls are also going in for higher studies in India / Abroad and also compete with Boys in almost all the jobs. At the same time, it provides lot of scope for their interactions with Boys which leads to more intimacy, resulting in their choice of partners accordingly.
Due to Western influence and the so called `Software Culture’, the Brahminal values are getting eroded Day by Day and many start feeling that there is nothing wrong in such marriages!
Parents, also have lost their hold in such matters and simply allow things to happen as per their childrens wish or Fate !
It is a pity that such weddings have become common in almost all Families, Orthodox Families also no Exception!
The situation is quite understandable and unavoidable too! But let us analyse the consequences in Detail.
CONSEQUENCES :
1. Marriage is not for uniting just Two Individuals, but it unites Two Families as well! Inter- Caste Marriages create a big shock to the Parents and Elders and they invariably feel pained & saddened for ever ! Is it Fair?
2. The inter-caste Marriage very often affect the Marriage Prospects of their Brothers and sisters and causes lot of embarrassment as well ! Is it not a Pity?
3. Initially such marriages may look simply great ! But the process of adjustment, as days go on will result in lot of Difficulties. For instance the Boy may be a Pucca Non-Vegetarian and may agree for avoiding N.V. food initially. But later he will not only start taking it, but also compel the Brahmin Wife to cook it at Home! Idu Thevaiya
4. The inter-caste couple start feeling the real pinch only when they start seeking alliances for their son or daughter. They repent much when they get discarded by both castes ! Even if they bring up the Children in `Brahminal Culture’ they find it extremely difficult to get Brahmin alliance ! Thus for no fault of them the children are getting punished ! Can you bear it ?
5. Inter-caste couples may lose the support & sympathy of the near & dear ones & there is a possibility of cut off in relationships once for all! Are you prepared ?
6. The children of inter-caste Marriages may also get married like that as a chain effect and the parents may not be able to question them because of their wrong doing ! Is it fine ?
7. In many cases such inter-caste Marriages result in Divorces. In some cases they live, separately or continue the Marital life just for the sake of children or for `Prestige’ sake ! But ultimately the fact remains they lead their life with guilty feelings! Is it Okay ?
The List goes on …. In view of the above, I suggest our Brides and Grooms to think deeply before going ahead with inter-caste Marriages.
Since in most cases our Brahmin Girls are only getting involved than the Brahmin Boys, I make a special appeal to Brides to avoid the very thought of such Marriages once for all by swearing before God !
PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE !
Parents have a major role to play. It is better to inculcate the values of our Brahminism in the minds of children right from childhood.
For that, parents must set an example by following True Brahminism in their Day to Day Life !
It is not only enough, if we are born as Brahmins, but we must lead our life also accordingly !
Brahminism calls for lot of Self-Discipline and sacrifice! We have to be self-less and live for the welfare of entire community. “Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavanthu” should be followed in letter and spirit.
We must perform our daily & periodical rituals , including Anushtanams, Sandhya Vandanam, Prayers, Poojas, Tharpanam, Srardham, Upavasam etc., without fail.
Nothing wrong in becoming Rich but money should be utilized mainly for noble causes to help others.
We must lead simple Life and avoid wasting it in unwarranted Luxuries. We must take sathwik food only and never think of N.V. Food ! (of late the Trend is becoming worse!)
We must also totally avoid alcohol and Smokings etc., we must ensure cleanliness (Madi!) and wear Veeputhi/Thiruman in our Forehead without fail. Youngsters may question us as to why we alone should follow all these ? The answer is given by Lord Krishna in Bhagavadgita in His advice to Arjuna where he says it is imperative for Everyone to follow his/her Swadharma according to his/her Heritage. Hence we need not copy down what is followed by others !
Above all, as repeatedly emphasized by Paramacharyal we must try to learn vedas or at least do what we can for encouraging Veda Padasalas and vedic Pandits by all means! It is also preferable we start learning Sanskrit!
It will be nice if all of us can read Mahaperiyavals `Deivathin Kural’ at least once in Life Time. I am sure our Brides/Grooms may not venture for inter-caste Marriages if they read the volumes sincerely.
HOW TO HANDLE INTER-CASTE MARRIAGES
Due to one reason or other if the Bride / Groom prefer such marriages, the situation is handled by parents in different ways.
In highly cosmopolitan Families nobody minds such Marriages and may probably welcome it too! Hence we need not bother about such `Bharatha Vilas’ Families !
In most of the Brahmin Families initially it is resisted by the parents and but later as time passes they start accepting it as there is no other way !
In a few Families parents are not prepared to forgive and the relationship gets eliminated once for all !
My suggestion is, the parents can try to prevent and convince the Bride / Groom if it is in initial stage. Where it has reached a situation of no return it is better to perform the Marriage in a simple manner and treat them as just friends without too much of involvement or attachment!
In any case it is absolutely foolish and sinful to compel the Bride / Groom beyond a point and get them married to a Brahmin alliance. In such cases the Marriages may lead to failure and the Boy / Girl may go back to the earlier `lover’ once again, thereby spoiling the Life of wedded partner in the process !
CONCLUSION :
Though Inter-caste Marriages are raising, I find majority of our Brides and Grooms still believe in Arranged Marriages to be done duly with the Blessings of Elders. Kudos and Cheers to them! My intention of this Article is only to arrest the growing Trend. For Brahmin Girls adequate Grooms are available as per their choice. Hence no excuse for them at all. Further once they get married to other caste the conversion becomes automatic and they go away from Brahmin Caste ! In case of Brahmin Boys the situation is different. Since the Girls are less and choosy they find it extremely difficult to get Brides and the agony of parents are also understandable. Many Grooms ask me whether they can marry girl from other castes if they are vegetarians. I can only leave the option to them as I have no solutions to offer !
It is a rarity to be born as Brahmin and we owe our Features, Talents and Qualities to our forefathers genetically. Every genes has its own quality and no caste is inferior or superior. Infact as per Bhagwan Baba’s sayings we must always follow the philosophy of Love All, Serve All! & ensure Manithaneyam in our Hearts and Deeds!
But there is nothing wrong in preserving and cherishing our identity as Brahmins by avoiding Inter-caste Marriages ! I am sure you will !
I am not against Love Marriages. In fact it is better too in some aspects. I am only keen that it must be within our Brahmin community.
Because of our ‘higher genetics’, Grooms of other castes may be keen to marry Brahmin Brides. Hence I appeal to the Brides to be cautious. Keeping people close and at the same time at a distance is an art!
Let us have the pleasure of getting our children married in our own community by ensuring Timely Marriage and avoiding the delay caused by being very choosy on subsects and other factors besides losing good alliances in the guise of Horoscope Matchings
If we Brahmins lead our life as True Brahmins, we can not only enhance our ‘Thejas’ but also our regard & reputation in the society as well!
Long Live our Brahminical culture and Heritage !
With Best Wishes & Kind Regards
N. PANCHAPAKESAN, Founder, Chennai Sai Sankara Matrimonials
Cell : 98403 30531
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